Category: hope
-
A-O-K
Several days ago, I hopped in my car to head to an appointment, and my Pandora app automatically connected to the car’s audio. I fumbled for my phone, realizing it was still on Upbeat Indie Radio. I wasn’t exactly feeling upbeat and instead wanted something a bit more gently-aggressive-early-2000s-ish, like Jimmy Eat World Radio. But…
-
Get outta here!
Though I’m delayed, I’m sure this post will surprise just about nobody. The Braves are World Series Champions! In some ways, it feels surreal typing that and, in other ways, it feels silly. I realize professional sports aren’t the most important thing in life, but I’ll admit they’re pretty significant to me. I can’t remember…
-
FUN! WAS HAD
Friday night at around 7:30, I ventured out of the house to attend a wine stroll. I did, in fact, wine and stroll, and it was so much fun! I recently saw another fellow cancer despiser post online about a podcast episode titled ”FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it?”…
-
Open doors
One day last June while I was staying in the hospital with Ramón, I decided to watch the video of his swearing in ceremony. Since he was minimally conscious, I thought it would be good for him to hear familiar voices, including his own, on what he deemed one of the best days of his…
-
How am I doing?
How am I doing? Well, I’m exploring new places through travel, music, and books. I’m sitting on hold with countless financial institutions and utility companies. I’m enjoying the cooler weather while walking the dogs, running, and sitting on porches. I’m partaking in adult-like phone calls and signing documents, much to my dismay. I’m doing freelance…
-
Always a rainbow
When home between hospitalizations in late March, I heard a song that resonated with me. As my anxiety about COVID-19 and transplant steadily escalated, I kept wondering why life couldn’t be easier. The song, “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves, is about believing things will improve despite the storms that enter your life. In those unnerving days…
-
One week of widowhood
It’s been one week since we said goodbye to Ramón, and it’s been more than 14 weeks since I said farewell to the version of Ramón I’d known since December 2011. In many ways, I’ve been grieving since April, but the sorrow has taken a different shape now, knowing that the possibility of recovery no…
-
Day +100: Now we’re here
Holy Day +100 since Ramón’s transplant! Exactly 100 days ago, on April 10, Ramón received his stem cell transplant. From 11:25 a.m. to 12:10 p.m. ET, we quietly watched YuSun’s stem cells slowly assume residence in Ramón’s body, ready to evict his leukemia once and for all. I’d heard about the coveted Day +100, and…
-
Day +93 (today): Hospital Day 100 (yesterday)
Today is day +93 since transplant, and yesterday was Ramón’s 100th consecutive day in the hospital. Though each individual day has felt exhaustively long, the days have merged together in a way that seems like no time has passed. Despite all the twists and turns that led us here, it was a good day. Some…
-
Day +57: Breathtaking sunset
Saturday into Sunday has become my toughest time of the week. It makes me reflect on “the night” when Ramón was feeling indescribably rough, culminating in the early morning loss of airway and subsequent cardiac arrest. It serves as a marker of how long it’s been, and we’re now officially in week 8. In the…
-
Thank you, Atlanta Braves
Day +54: Keep swinging – June 3, 2020 You know when you’re just staring at the computer screen, deciding what to say to Hank Aaron? Do you not know that feeling? Because I do! Tonight, Hammerin’ Hank took the time to email us after becoming aware of our story. I was born a Braves fan,…
-
Day +37: Developing
I love this picture from a friend’s wedding in Charleston in 2014. It looks so effortless and obnoxiously lovey-dovey. In reality, though, I kept demanding that Ramón look at me like he was in love because I saw the photographer lurking. You can’t conclude that from the final product alone, but that’s how we got…
-
Raise a __ for Ramón
Happy almost birthday to this guy! It’s the night before Ramón’s birthday, which means it’s also the eve of the one-year mark since his leukemia diagnosis. Ramón remains in the ICU, but he should be coming off all sedation in the very near future. Ramón’s newly acquired immune system is working well so far, and…
-
Days +12, 15, and 18
Day +12: A turtle’s pace – April 22, 2020 Though time has been moving at the speed of molasses, it’s moving, and that’s the most important part of this process. The testing they’ve been able to do while Ramón is sedated and intubated all looks quite positive. Until they can fully wake him, though, there…
-
Days +5 to +8
Day +5: Window of opportunity – April 15, 2020 It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but we had a good day! Though we’ve had glimpses throughout the days, I can officially say that today, as a whole, was good. The highlights include fewer bouts of extreme hiccups, being fever free the entire day,…