Category: gratitude
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Day +76: Mashed potatoes
This morning, day +76, while walking the dogs, my mom turned to me and asked, “Did I tell you about the dream where I was feeding Ramón mashed potatoes? He loved them.” Without hesitation, I responded, “Aww, that makes me happy.” Now, reflecting on our exchange, it’s interesting that my first response was one of…
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Day +57: Breathtaking sunset
Saturday into Sunday has become my toughest time of the week. It makes me reflect on “the night” when Ramón was feeling indescribably rough, culminating in the early morning loss of airway and subsequent cardiac arrest. It serves as a marker of how long it’s been, and we’re now officially in week 8. In the…
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Thank you, Atlanta Braves
Day +54: Keep swinging – June 3, 2020 You know when you’re just staring at the computer screen, deciding what to say to Hank Aaron? Do you not know that feeling? Because I do! Tonight, Hammerin’ Hank took the time to email us after becoming aware of our story. I was born a Braves fan,…
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Day +46: Life is hard.
The past several weeks have been, without a doubt, the most difficult time of my life. Each day, I have been hopeful that Ramón’s status would change enough to dramatically alter the nature of my update. But it hasn’t, so here goes. On April 19, nine days after his stem cell transplant, an infection caused…
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Days +5 to +8
Day +5: Window of opportunity – April 15, 2020 It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but we had a good day! Though we’ve had glimpses throughout the days, I can officially say that today, as a whole, was good. The highlights include fewer bouts of extreme hiccups, being fever free the entire day,…
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Palm of her hand
We’ve had a productive week in isolation. Ramón’s sister, YuSun, arrived in Atlanta on Monday night before heading to Emory on Tuesday for a full day of pre-transplant visits. With each needle stick (Sibling voodoo?), YuSun remained faithful and is now eating a very strict diet—in quarantine—until cell collection a week from today. So, as…
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Four words to cherish
Four words to cherish in the world of cancer: We got good news! Ramón’s bone marrow biopsy shows that we’re ready to head to stem cell transplant. Though some details are still up in the air, we know that Ramón’s sister, YuSun, will be his donor. YuSun is a half match, but she’s 100% committed…
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Our lucky day?
This photo was taken two years ago today, and it has me feeling somewhat nostalgic. I’m longing for a time when I was the only sick half of this duo—a time when I’d never heard “absolute neutrophil count”—a time when we weren’t living in a hospital, watching medical experts fear for their own lives while…
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twenty is plenty
Well, well, well … It’s hospital day 20. It’s not Ramón’s best day, but we’re making the best of every day. When I’m faced with anxiety-provoking situations, I try to apply logic to make the uncertainty disappear. For example, I have been replaying last May’s induction chemotherapy, trying to remember what happened on what day,…
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Day 300
We made it to day 300! Sometimes it’s still hard for me to believe Ramón was diagnosed with leukemia last May. It’s even more difficult to believe that, after about nine months in remission, it occasionally feels like we’re back where we started. But, on the bright side, we’ve had 300 love-laden, laughter-loaded, gratitude-packed days.…
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Enjoy the ride
It’s hard to believe we are where we are. Last Sunday we were near Blue Ridge where Ramón kick-started the week by running up a mountain – no exaggeration. Then, on Monday morning, we sipped coffee while watching the sunrise from the comfort of a hot tub, soaking in the glorious moment unfolding before us.…
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Taking it in stride
Yesterday Ramón completed a half-marathon that he’s been training for since his counts recovered following his last round of chemo. Younger, pre-cancer Ramón ran half-marathons whenever he pleased with little to no preparation whatsoever. He’s always been quite athletic, and we have ongoing debates about which professional athletes he thinks he could beat in a…
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Peace out, 2019
The time has finally come to say goodbye to one of the best, most awful years of my life. I got a cold on Thanksgiving (so thankful), which spiraled into quite a mess. After five days in the hospital—as the patient this time—I am at home on day 20 of IV antibiotics. So, as the…
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tiny kindnesses
Ramón and I watched a movie, Paterson, the other night, and the main character was a poet. It got me thinking about how much I used to love writing poetry when I was younger. That being said, I’m about to attempt to write a little who-knows-what-form-this-will-take poem. tiny kindnessesa smile, a wave, a hi met…
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The straight and marrow
You know how sometimes things work out perfectly with no loose ends and complete closure, like a beautifully wrapped gift with a bow on top? And other times you cut the wrapping paper just a tad small and are too stubborn to waste it, so you begin piecing together a patchwork of paper to hide…