Category: humor
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Marked Safe from Water Aerobics
When I joined the Y last year, I was most excited about the pool. I hoped to relive my swim team days, but I also wanted to try out water aerobics as I rehabbed my leg post-Rollerblading Incident of 2024. My ability to get in the water was first postponed by [another] leg surgery, then…
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Week 3: Simple September
I’m here with another Simple September recap. My biggest victory over the past week has been following my gut. Because of this, I was less sterotypically productive (i.e., working hard, making money) and a lot more that-book-is-really-calling-to-me-and-I-shall-answer productive (i.e., soul-level fulfillment). Some bigger things are happening this week, so check Instagram for the daily recap.…
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Week 2: Simple September
Another week of Simple September has come and gone! Most nights I found myself scrambling to think of something to post, which isn’t *quite* what I had in mind when I developed Simple September (#StressedAboutPostingSeptember?). So, my goal for this week is to be more mindful of my surroundings throughout the day. In other words,…
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Week 1: Simple September
Here’s what went down during the first week of Simple September. Highlights include fun socks, cozy naps, and threats of hospitalization. Dun dun dun… đź’śKeep up daily on Instagram!đź’ś
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Simple September
How is it already September? And will I ever stop saying that at the start of each new month? The answer is no. It’s part of being an adult. While reading this weekend, I saw the phrase “Lighten up.” My reaction was visceral, a sensation of rocks in my stomach. Nobody said it to me,…
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Grape expectations
Let me tell to you about a grape soda situation. I just opened a Zevia-brand grape soda. It has no sugar, so we’ll see what’s up with that. I bought them on Sunday and haven’t tried one yet. Why? Because I have an oddly messed-up way of thinking. I often believe I need to “earn”…
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My naked wrist
When I woke up yesterday, my Fitbit wasn’t working. (Yes, I’m still on Team Fitbit.) The screen was black, but I knew I’d charged it recently. I started repeatedly flipping my wrist over, hoping the screen would light up. Then I moved into the phase where I tapped the screen harder and harder, hoping my…
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Just the SweeTARTS
I always look forward to Valentine’s Day for obvious reasons: CANDY. And specifically SweeTARTS Hearts, which I rank among my favorite holiday-specific candies. Yes, that is how you spell SweeTARTS. And please note SweeTARTS Hearts are not the same as sugary conversation hearts. Big difference, folks. I take my candy seriously.
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Massage musings
A few weeks ago, as I drove to get a massage, I rehearsed what I’d tell the massage therapist. I knew I wanted the full sixty minutes devoted to my back and shoulders—no need for any of that limb nonsense. I was ready to articulate my wants and design the massage of my dreams.
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RIP People-Pleasing Drew
As part of a writing program I’m taking, we were asked to write an obituary to a place or to a former version of ourselves. I opted for the latter. Here’s what I wrote: It is with the utmost liberation that we announce the long-awaited passing of People-Pleasing Drew. Often sacrificing her own joy to…
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Zip it good
Did you know some zippers lock when the pull tab is in the down position? In other words, after zipping, you place the tab down to lock the zipper in place—so the barn door’s not open. I thought of this recently because, soon after I met RamĂłn, I realized he often had a safety pin…
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Not boarding
“I didn’t leave for the airport before I left for the airport.” Yes, that sentence left my mouth earlier this week. I was on the phone with a friend, telling her about last weekend’s quick trip to Louisville, Colorado, just outside of Denver. (If you live there and I didn’t tell you I was coming,…
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ExtravaGranza
As we prepared to eat at a family gathering one afternoon, the power went out. “Let’s all bow our heads,” one of my uncles started. “It’s too dark to say the blessing,” responded Gran, the queen of one-liners. Today that comedic genius, my maternal grandmother, Gran, turns 99 years old. I caught up with her…
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Oh my cornhole
I sustained an injury at the gym in 2009. I wasn’t doing anything crazy — just changing into workout attire. As I lowered my arm from above my head, I heard a snap, followed by intense pain in my collarbone region. “Weird,” I thought. After cautiously standing in the locker room for a minute or…
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Is that my phone in your pocket?
On what we didn’t know would be our last wedding anniversary, my late husband, RamĂłn, and I went out to dinner before heading to a comedy show. As we finished eating, RamĂłn realized his phone was missing. “I think the guy at that table has it,” I told him as I gestured to a family…