Today I’m thinking about a scene from the movie Office Space. Those who know me well will be surprised I’m quoting a movie, but here goes.

Peter Gibbons: So, I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Dr. Swanson: Wow, that’s messed up.

I relate to this SO HARD right now from a physical health perspective. When I got sick at the end of 2025, I unlocked a new “sicker than ever before”—a low that took about six weeks to bounce back from.

Then, in mid to late May, I achieved yet another new “sicker than ever before.” For the past three weeks, I’ve been using supplemental oxygen for most of the day. I’m also doing IV antibiotics every eight hours, which means being attached to a pole for nearly nine hours a day. And as I sit here, tethered to things, I wonder how in the fresh hell this happened.

I could theorize, but that’s not the point of this post—and it will only prevent me from being in the moment, which has been my biggest struggle these past several weeks. I can’t help but long for the way things used to be, and right now it’s hard to be optimistic about what’s to come since things have sort of plateaued.

In 11 days, on June 22, I have a procedure to close the hole in my heart. I hope the change is undeniable—that I wake up from anesthesia feeling fully oxygenated and whimsical. That I rise from the hospital bed and do a cartwheel to celebrate how good I feel. That I promptly call the home health company, take a deep and effortless breath, and politely ask them to come get the oxygen concentrator, CUZ I CAN BREATHE, BABY.

But who knows what will happen.

I really, really, desperately hope that this procedure yields more benefit than we could have imagined. I’m hopeful, but the past several months have taught me to be prepared for anything.

So, here’s to a very uneventful 11 days—overflowing with Benny love!