When I joined the Y last year, I was most excited about the pool. I hoped to relive my swim team days, but I also wanted to try out water aerobics as I rehabbed my leg post-Rollerblading Incident of 2024. My ability to get in the water was first postponed by [another] leg surgery, then further delayed by two stints with a PICC line—medical events that meant I had to avoid water.

Between those legitimate reasons, my anxiety got in the way. Every time I thought about registering for water aerobics, twenty questions entered my mind. And it wasn’t a game; it was me torturing myself with uncertainty.

Ridiculous questions included:

• How do I access the pool?
• How do the lockers work?
• Should I wear my suit there?
• Should I bring a change of clothes to drive home in?
• Do I bring my own towel?
• What’s the temperature of the water?
• Will I need goggles?
• Will my hair get wet?

Clearly, these were a matter of life or death.

What does impress me about the questions, though, is that none of my concerns were related to looking dumb in the class. And that’s a big victory for me because I’ve spent too much of my life worrying about appearances. But anyway.

On Tuesday, I registered to attend Wednesday morning’s Water Balance class. I was anxious when I clicked the “Confirm” button. I also considered changing my mind when I woke up. But I nervously got ready to go.

Guess what? I found the door to the pool; I successfully used a locker; I wore my suit there and home, wrapped in my own towel; the water was lukewarm; and my head never went underwater. And guess what else? I had fun, and it seemed everyone else—who was at least thirty years older than me—also enjoyed it. I was fully in the present moment.

As I exercised, I remembered my first trip with Ramón, to Cancún. (In retrospect, I’m surprised I left the country with someone I’d only known for two months, but he turned out to be legit.) We went down to the pool at the resort, and without hesitation, Ramón joined in on a water aerobics class. No questions. No what ifs. Just jumping into the present moment.

I’m still left with a couple questions.

• Do you know how hard it is to hold ginormous foam dumbbells under water?
• Did you know it’s possible to get sore abs from water crunches?
• Have you ever realized your anxiety was totally unwarranted?

What are you anxious about? Maybe it’s time to jump in.

P.S. Shout out to BreatheStrong CF! I was awarded one of their fitness grants, which funds my Y membership.