GIRL DREW
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Simple September
How is it already September? And will I ever stop saying that at the start of each new month? The answer is no. It’s part of being an adult. While reading this weekend, I saw the phrase “Lighten up.” My reaction was visceral, a sensation of rocks in my stomach. Nobody said it to me,…
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The Mystery of the Coatrack
Ramón and I returned home to our condo one night after playing trivia. When Ramón tried to push the door open, he was met with resistance, as though someone was barricaded inside. “Did someone break in?” I whispered to Ramón. “I don’t know,” he answered, then gave the door a shove.
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Reclaiming “How are you?”
I’m thinking about how I answer some everyday questions, like “How are you doing?” and “How’s it going?” I know the right answer is “Good!” because many people ask these questions as a substitute for saying hi—not an actual inquiry into my wellbeing. But I’m that person who may deliver an answer the asker didn’t…
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Normal: Not found
Today was back to reality after a week at the beach. For me, the primary symptom of post-vacation blues is a soul-level restlessness that I struggle to describe. Something always feels just a little bit off, like maybe I’m not supposed to be where I am. I know this feeling is normal—that it happens after…
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Somewhere near-ish to the rainbow
A week ago today, John and I walked out of a sushi restaurant and found ourselves under a rainbow. I can’t remember the last time I saw one, and my heart brimmed with love at the sight of it—a welcomed giddiness. I thought of Ramón, yes, but I was equally mesmerized because I’d just arrived…
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Grape expectations
Let me tell to you about a grape soda situation. I just opened a Zevia-brand grape soda. It has no sugar, so we’ll see what’s up with that. I bought them on Sunday and haven’t tried one yet. Why? Because I have an oddly messed-up way of thinking. I often believe I need to “earn”…
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Now serving anxiety
Anxiety has been all up in my business this week. My pulmonologist called last Friday to chat about some medical stuff. If you’re a chronic patient, you’re probably familiar with the game where something catches the doctor’s attention enough to mention it, but you don’t know how far the curiosity will go. Will follow-up tests…
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2 Legit 2 Not Quit
Today marks two months off the cystic fibrosis “miracle drug,” Trikafta, and BOY have there been changes. I like to end things on a high note, so I suppose I’ll start with the not-as-good changes first. And that description is a bit of a misnomer because I expected these things as my body returned to…
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I’ve got a leg up (per doctor’s orders)
Today my leg is a little less screwed—literally. The leg I fractured (x3) last year is still quite painful, so a doctor removed four of the screws yesterday. What remains is a rod inside my tibia and a screw near my knee holding it in place. Call me Rod Drewart. Rod Screwart? Womp womp. If…
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13 Years of Noodle
Thirteen years ago today, Ramón and I brought this magical creature home. We had already picked her name, Noodle, because I wanted it to pair nicely with Ramón’s French Bulldog, Alfie—short for Alfredo. We considered every pasta type we could think of, ultimately landed on Noodle. Ziti was a close second, but I’m glad we…
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15,051 days
Ramón would have turned 46 today. This morning, as I tried to think of a photo to share in honor of his big day, this one came to mind. We’d just purchased a nice camera to take on our upcoming cross-country RV trip. When I took this photo, I was playing around with the camera…
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Back to CF: Day 5
Rise and shine and wheeze! It’s day five waking up without having taken the cystic fibrosis “miracle drug.” Although I’ve toyed with different dosages over the years—even skipping three days between doses—this is the longest I’ve been without the drug since 2021. For those who are just catching up, the short story is this: As…
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Azale-yeah!
As I sneezed my way through the yard a few weeks ago, I stopped to admire these white azaleas. On a shrub of nearly identical white blooms, one flower said, “No thank you,” and showed up with a fuchsia stripe. Do the damn thing! I see you.
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Lung time, no update
A few weeks ago, I sent this message to my doctor. Trikafta = the “miracle drug.” I think I’m at the end of my Trikafta journey. Before I discontinue, I’d like to get some bloodwork done, particularly to gauge current liver enzyme levels and hormone levels (specifically estrodial, progesterone, testosterone, and any others that were a…
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My naked wrist
When I woke up yesterday, my Fitbit wasn’t working. (Yes, I’m still on Team Fitbit.) The screen was black, but I knew I’d charged it recently. I started repeatedly flipping my wrist over, hoping the screen would light up. Then I moved into the phase where I tapped the screen harder and harder, hoping my…